living with and as a local

Last month I talked with Eszter, a European vagabond, who went on a 3-month-long trip in Latin America. Inspired by her story, I decided to host a fellow-traveller from Asia, who arrived from a far-far land to see our continent. In her itinerary, she had Hungary as well, so I offered her accommodation during her stay in Budapest. We talked a lot about her home, the Philippines, my home, Hungary, and the benefits of cultural exchange, like CouchSurfing. Here is a short interview with her, in which you will learn about her journey, her view about Europe and Europeans, and about a set of dazzling islands called the Philippines.

Hi, Myca! What kind of tea can I serve you?

It doesn’t matter, everything is new for me. We mostly drink coffee in the Philippines.

Really? Then I had a funny misconception, thinking that the Far-East is all about tea. 

Well, I also had my misbeliefs about Europe, like that there is no traffic jam, no flood, and things like that.

Wow, yeah, we know a lot about traffic jams. And as far as flooding in concerned, the Balkan area just experienced its largest disaster in long years.

Yes, I know. This trip of mine around Eastern Europe taught me a lot.

So, where exactly have you been?

I landed in Germany a month ago, then moved on to Salzburg, Austria. From there, Slovenia came, with Ljubljana and Bled. My next stop was Croatia, where I checked not only Zagreb but Plitvice, Pula, and some surrounding sea resorts as well. After that, I came to Hungary, more specifically to Budapest, Szentendre, and Eger. From here I will move on to Prague, in the Czech Republic, and from Hamburg I will fly home to the Philippines.

Then, your trip is approximately a month long, right?

That’s right. That’s how much I can stay away from my job in sales. Of course, the journey had financial limitations too: it was partly because of the money that I decided to choose Eastern and Southern Europe as the destination of my first roundtrip. The other reason was because I wanted to see new things and less popular places.

What did you like the most? Any favorite spot so far?

Hard to pick one. There were amazing things everywhere. I couchsurfed most of the time and my hosts, local experts, took me to beautiful places. One of the best days of the trip was when we went around tiny little towns in Dalmatia. Also, to mention something strange I encountered, never before have I seen people so casually (un)dressed as around those beach towns. Men walking in light green trunks or women in monokinis.

Was this then the biggest culture shock?

Yes. I wouldn’t say I was too shocked by anything. If you ask how people in the Philippines are different from the Europeans, maybe what can be said is that there are much more of us (100 million). Really, one of the most populated lands are the Philippines! And there are many languages and tribes on the several islands that constitute the Philippines. Maybe because of this, people are very welcoming wherever you go in the country. They invite and host anyone no matter where they come from.

But in the end you were hosted by Europeans as well, right?

Yes, I stayed at people’s place most of the times, only 1 o 2 occasions in a hostel. I like to live with and live as a local and I was lucky with each of my hosts. I can only recommend CouchSurfing.

I also like the concept of it, but at the same time I think one needs to address certain risks too. Did you ever feel lonely and vulnerable during this relatively long journey of yours?

I would say that I enjoyed every day of it but sometimes I felt I just want to go home. I guess not because I couldn’t take any more new experiences, that is, it is not that I got filled. It is more that I missed my family and my home. I love the Philippines! I told a lot of stories about my country to most of my hosts. About the monsoons, the floods, the Chocolate Hills, the island transportation, the dialects, and a lot more.

Indeed, I learned a great deal from you about this land that I had hardly known before. You mentioned the language. How did you manage with communication on your trip?

In the Philippines the second official language is English, because the land was occupied by the Americans. As a lucky consequence, I (and many of my compatriots) are fluent in English. In the countries I visited, like Croatia, Slovenia, or Hungary, it was not so. Many of the people don’t speak English, but all in all I always managed. Language was not a problem if you want to get a message across.

Good to hear! What’s up for you now?

Well, I will go home soon, about which I am happy, but I will also be happy to work hard and save some money for my next trip. It is definitely to repeat! I will either come back to visit some of the places I missed this time, like the Balkans, or I will aim for Western Europe, but that will cost much more. I’ll see.

Good luck with that. And have a safe trip to Prague and to Manila!

not just a dream

Do you ever wonder what happened to the people you'd once sat down with to exchange some ideas and dreams? Do you wonder if they have realized what they were planning or it was just their fantasy? Well, you don't have to wonder anymore, because I am bringing you back together with one of our old TEA guests, Eszter. Six months ago we got to know a young Hungarian vagabond, who was then working in a bar in Scotland. Her goal was to earn enough money to go on a longer trip to South America in the following year. She told us that she was not going to spend her entire life working: half a year of working and half a year of travelling is what she wants. Nice dreams, we might have thought. Well, believe it or not, she is not (just) a dreamer: she made it. I caught her for a catch-up interview the week after she returned from a 3-month round-trip over the Atlantic.

 Hola, Eszter! Where were you in the last 6 months?

Hi, TEA drinkers! Well, it's a long story. I resigned in December, came home for the winter holidays, then in February I flew through London to Havana, Cuba. I spent 10 days there, then went to the indigenous villages of Mexico and Guatemala. After that came Lima and the mainstream Peruvian track, which led me to Bolivia and Northern Chile. Finally, I stayed in Argentina and flew home a couple of weeks ago.

Wow, quite a lot of places! How did you manage to cram this many locations in three months?

Well, yeah, I had to hurry. In Havana I spent 10 days, while in Buenos Aires 5 – these were my favorite cities. In the other locations, it was even less. But, honestly, I couldn't imagine to spend more time in these cities. Except, of course, if I had more time… The capitals are not so nice as, for example, in Europe – which is why I would say I liked Toledo and Madrid, two Spanish cities I visited on my way back, even more than most of the Latin American metropolises. Latin America, I feel, is more about nature, the oases, the lagoons, the endless white soil and horizons, than the urban experience.

And was this what you had expected?

I don't know really what I expected. As for the sights, yes, they were exactly like what I had expected. Next time, however, I will try to move away more from the mainstream and check the less popular places.

You know, I think what I expected was the sensation of freedom, to be able to do what I want. To do different things every day. And this I got perfectly. I loved being with fellow-travellers who share this lifestyle and mindset. I must say, though, that we are a weird minority – because few can afford having a 9-month holiday. 

Probably it is not just about who can afford this but also who wants this. Why did you decide to go on this trip?

Because I like travelling. I want to travel around the world. I started in Latin America because, first of all, I haven't been there, and second of all, I wanted to see Cuba before the Castro regime collapses, because then Cuba loses its charm. I regret, though, not to have stayed longer in Mexico and having missed Costa Rica and Colombia.

Now let's turn to more practical issues. These are all non-English speaking countries. How did you manage with communication?

I learned a bit of Spanish beforehand, acquiring a 100-word vocabulary. I tried to use this as efficiently and creatively as possible. It was important to know certain words and phrases, like I want to get off here, or numbers, directions, meals, while, for example, I couldn't talk about my family in Spanish. I also had a very useful dictionary application on my phone. I must say, these were all necessary but not sufficient, because firstly very little percentage spoke English, and secondly, the Spanish they used was not Castillian but local indigenous variations. So I had difficulties but I always managed somehow.

Also, what was a great help is that I used CouchSurfing. I contacted a number of local CouchSurfers, mostly young and intellectual people, who spoke English. They took me to places and helped me understand local customs. CouchSurfing is a very good way to get to know like-minded locals.

Talking about local customs, how did you feel as a young woman in such distant and different cultures?

I didn't feel it mattered I was a woman. Actually, there were great many (single) female travellers. If you are attacked, it's not because you are a woman. The point is that you just need to follow certain basic rules, like don't go out in the dark alone, avoid certain areas, don't wander around drunk, etc. These countries do have dangerous parts but they have touristic, thus, safe, parts as well.

Did you ever feel alone and lonely in the middle of a foreign and constantly changing environment?

Well, only once, in Peru. I was very high above sea level and my body just couldn't handle it. It was hard to breathe, I had constant headache and fever. I couldn't eat. It was then that I felt I need to get out of here. Other than that I always enjoyed being out there and among new acquaintances.

Can you recall one memorable experience then?

It's hard to pick one.  But for example the Oasis of Huacachina, Peru. It was a village for gringos (tourists), a pond in the middle of the immense sand. On one evening we went sand-boarding. It was so weird! I mean, I hadn't seen the desert before. It was amazing. It is not covered with sand, but it is made of sand! So, firstly, this sand experience was totally new for me. Secondly, the oasis, with the pond, the water-bikes, the Cuba Libres, and the sunset, was breath-taking. Then, we had this sand-boarding trip in the evening. We were playing like children, in the sand, in the sunset. The whole desert was our playground. This was complete freedom!

Sounds amazing indeed. Now, after this awesome period of 3 months, what's next for you?

Now I stay in Hungary for a couple of months still, going to concerts like Aerosmith and Rolling Stones, then a bit of family vacation here and there. From September, then, I'd like to get a job in Scotland again, now in a normal bar, not in a country-side hotel. Then in February, my plan is again to go on a bigger trip, either to South-East Asia or to Northern America.

So be it. Good luck! See you in the TEA room next year. :-)

Deal!

not trying something is far worse

So far the TEA community had the chance to read 6 interviews with people who had decided to travel the world. We were curious about their experiences, expectations, struggles, and joys while living far from their homeland. While listening to their stories, we wanted to get a realistic picture, both objective and subjective, about what it means to try one's luck abroad. Although it was exciting to read each of the accounts, I felt it was time to systemize what had been shared with us in this topic. In March, thus, I posted a summative article about what we have learned from these interesting discussions. 

This month, however, we move on to another story, told by Marek, an English teacher from Poland, who now lives and teaches in Holland but has seen many parts of the globe already. How did his journeys enrich him and what lessons can he share with us?

Hey, Marek. Thanks for joining the TEA discussion. What kind of tea would you pick if I could take you out for a live interview?

PG Tips! No milk and no sugar, please.

Never heard of PG Tips before. Thanks for the tip. :-) So, let’s get the party started. Could you give us an overview of your journeys?

Uff, I’ve moved a lot, but I still wonder whether too little or too much. I started teaching part-time in Poland, after doing my CELTA in Prague, but as soon as the BA was done and dusted, I moved on. The world seemed too big and too enticing to stay in one place. So I went to Mexico, and, by a stroke of luck, I ended up teaching in Costa Rica. I spent a year there and it was again time to move on. Spain, Hungary, and the UK followed. And now I’m in the Netherlands. If I get a chance, I’d still like to teach in South-East Asia and in South America.

What a record! It seems you are the very embodiment of the “Cosmopolitan,” who not only moves abroad, but migrates from place to place, in search of new worlds. Is there a typical duration, say one year, that you spend in one location? Why? 

It’s been anything between 6 and 12 months, all depending on the length of the contract. Every time towards the end of the contract I’d start getting itchy feet, though, and it felt like it was time to move on although at times it was easy, and times not.

I see. Although it is not fashionable to talk about the obstacles, like the nostalgia or the emotional price you have to pay, could you tell us a bit about how you coped with these things?

Of course, it isn’t all exciting all the time. It can be quite tough and challenging to live in a different country, far away from home. And a lot depends on your personality. But for me, there is definitely something exciting about the act of moving, getting to know new people, new language, new culture. At the beginning I felt no nostalgia. I was, and still am, doing what I set out to do: teaching and travelling the world. However, the more I’ve travelled, the more I’ve started to appreciate what my homeland has to offer, so I might be quite tempted to head back there at some point. Of course, there are moments when you feel homesick. You also feel that your old life, friends and family back home have, well, moved on, for better or for worse. And you haven’t been part of it. But you can’t have it all, can you? So it’s a decision you have to take for yourself.

True. During your extensive journeys, which proved to be a bigger obstacle, language or culture? 

I think both can be a big obstacle. I’ve been to Latin America, and although I can speak the language and love the people and the culture, there are certain things  I can’t and probably won’t accept (unless I really force myself to). Still, Latin America is much closer to Europe culturally, than China, for example. I’ve never worked there, but have had students from Asia, and they are indeed very different culturally, which makes it really interesting, but also challenging. When I was on the other side of the Atlantic, I did miss many things about Europe (e.g. public transport, general safety, lack of huge class divisions). But similarly now, I miss many things about Costa Rica or Mexico (e.g. the climate, the people, the sun, the beaches, the nature, the food – Mexican restaurants in Europe are not Mexican at all!). You can’t have it all, so it’s a case of your priorities. From a teaching perspective, I think teaching in a completely different culture broadens your horizons and makes you a better teacher, so I’d recommend it to everyone.

Regarding the language, the Netherlands is the second country I work in where I don’t know the local language. You get used to it after a while, but if I was planning to settle here, I’d definitely start learning Dutch because you end up living in an expat bubble. You miss out on so many ‘local’ things.

Do you have any memorable or funny incident related to language or culture?

Yes. Quite a few, actually. In Costa Rica, un polaco is somebody who goes from door to door selling things on credit. So whenever I said I was Polish, people would mockingly say: Y que me vende? (what do you sell) and start laughing. It took me a while to figure out what was going on.

Finally, what advice would you give to someone considering living abroad?

Don’t think too much about it. Just do it! Not trying something is far worse than trying and realizing you didn’t like the experience. At least you’ll know.

Perfect conclusion. Thank you!

My dear TEA drinkers, if you liked the interview or you happen to be in Wageningen, wanting to polish your English, visit Marek's blog.

expa-riences

It is now six months that I started this blog and, as part of it, I launched a monthly interview series which aims to address people who have decided (or are deciding) to live abroad for a longer period of time. After half a year of collecting personal stories, I felt it was time for us to summarize what we have learned about going abroad.

More and more people decide to live and work outside of their countries, because, as they claim, going abroad offers them better chances, financially or socially, than staying at home, but the main explanation for the growing numbers is not so much the economic crisis or deeper inequalities but much more the higher degree of mobility, which makes such a decision easier than before. Nevertheless, with these widening opportunities, an increased consciousness is rarely coupled. Few people are prepared for the complexities of what their seemingly all-positive choice really entails. This interview series was created to serve as a platform which offers you some of the ideas that are worth considering before making up your mind and trying yourself abroad. By no means do I try to discourage you -- I am pro choice :-) -- but I do encourage you to see things clearly before you make a big decision, and this is one big decision.

The TEA interview series hosted people who migrated for professional reasons, like Bori, and those who followed their heart, like Reka. We read about people who stayed closer to their homeland, like Danijela, and those who crossed oceans to reach where they are now, like Aaron. Meeting Stan, we got to know someone who not only lived in 3 different continents but he also ended up in an intercultural family. Last but not least, we had the chance to talk with Eszter, who went abroad for very specific reasons: to earn enough money for a trip that she had been dreaming of (and make no mistake, she made it -- see photo below :-).

Even from the above, quite limited, list, you can clearly spot out the diversity of the expatriate. The motives people go abroad for are endless. The distance and the duration vary a great deal too. The experiences, as a consequence, cannot be identical either. Then what to prepare for, you might ask. While each of the people I interviewed highly recommended to try living in another country, in order to see the world, to open up, to test yourselves and your beliefs, to redefine difference, in short, to enrich your life, they also warned us about several difficulties. Although in many places foreigners are welcomed, some parts of the world are less tolerant. You need to consider that once you cross borders, you will not be "a local" anymore but "a guest". Almost every interviewee underlined the importance of acquiring at least some knowledge of the local language. Even though English is the new lingua franca, thus, a must to know, many doors will still remain closed if you don't know the local "code". 

It is not only being accepted that can be a challenge; another serious obstacle can be the opposite, accepting, a culture and a set of customs that appear foreign and illogical from your culture's perspective. Many of the speakers had stories about funny or frustrating situations that were the results of a cultural clash. You need to be prepared to bump into new -- and at first strange -- customs at every corner of your journey, even when you think you can take something for granted. Nothing can be taken for granted. On the one hand, such a lesson is a very useful one; on the other hand, you can get tired and insecure after a while, which is easier to bear if you count on it to happen.

Finally, a last crucial point I'd like to make, based on the six interviews, is that you mustn't forget that by travelling you are leaving behind most of what you knew as your life. While some people go exactly for that, for the others this will be an overwhelming challenge. Our TEA guests, however, encouraged us to say yes anyway, because in our digital age, skype and chatting can help you get through the days of loneliness and homesickness, which are all parts of the journey.

So, in short, dare for more, but stay realistic.

studying the native language is very beneficial

In the last expat interview of 2013, we got a taste of Aaron's views about issues like the United States as a country not of destination but of origin, being a native English-speaker in a foreign country, and the importance of learning new languages. In January, then, Reka, a recent immigrant to the US, reacted to some of Aaron's statements, while adding her own experiences about the peculiar situation of being a Romanian-born Hungarian. This time I brought you Stan, an African American writer and professor, who lived in Japan for almost a decade and is now staying in Hungary with his Russian wife. Let us see how his experiences shape our expectations of what it means to live in a foreign culture.

Welcome, Stan. Thank you for accepting our invitation. Do you have any favorite tea? Iced tea, matcha, Russian caravan, or the Hungarian “daycare tea,” with a lot of sugar and lemon?  

Japanese matcha or a nice Earl Grey, thank you.

As I know, you have been an expat for quite a while. Could you give us a short summary about the main stations of your journey?

I left the States at 22 to be an English teacher in Japan, where I lived for 8 years. During that time I worked as a teacher, a manager, and a university teacher. During that time I was a short story science fiction writer and an editor as well. In Japan I met my wife and after some time, we decided to move to Europe and landed in Hungary. I’ve been here now for eight years and working again as a university teacher and writer.

US, Japan, Hungary -- very different places. I suppose, for each moving you had to pay a price. How did you cope with the fact that whenever you moved, you left a part of your life behind and started something very different?

To be honest, it wasn’t that big a deal for me. When I left the US, I was looking forward to the adventure of living abroad! As a young man, it was a great opportunity. And anyway, I always made sure to visit the States once or twice a year to see family and friends.

When we left Japan it was a bigger transition, and the reasons were different, but the fact was that, at least for me, the time had come to move on and start a new phase of my life. I wanted, specifically, to leave behind the life I led in Japan and build a new one with my wife and family.

You seem to have had certain expectations about both of your new homes (and lifestyles). How much did they prove to be right?

To be honest, since my expectation of Japan was "not the US", it pretty much fulfilled it! It was the different cultural experience I was looking for, without the social pressures I'd felt back home. For Hungary, this was different since I had visited it before and my wife had lived here before, so she had friends here and a support network of sorts. Hungary was much tougher than Japan in certain ways, but I think that's mostly because I now had a family to take care of, which increases one's apprehension. Once again, however, as I acclimated to Hungary, I found, as I said previously, that the place was easy to deal with. Except the red tape. There's so much of it., and it gets in the way of things at time.

Now let’s turn to the issue of communication. It is a general claim that native English speakers have certain privileges that others don’t. What is your opinion about it?

Absolutely true. In general, we’ve got a shot to “get along” wherever we go. However, that only goes so far. In both Japan and Hungary, I’ve found studying the native language in that country very beneficial to living well. In both places, my experiences were different from other expat Americans or Brits because I could speak a little. For example, in Hungary, I find dealing with authorities simply easier because I speak some small amount of Hungarian, whereas some compatriots of mine find, say, dealing with the tax office an absolute nightmare because they don’t. This isn’t to say I don’t have problems (I don’t have nearly enough Hungarian to, for example, try to complain about service in a restaurant!).

Talking about inequalities, have you ever felt underprivileged in our white-centric world?

Yes, frankly, but the ways are subtle and frankly odd, and very different than the racism I suffered back in the States. Also, when applying for jobs or other such things, for many “others” like myself, I always wonder, if I don’t get a job or opportunity, was I simply not good enough, or was I “too black”, and being so, got denied something I otherwise would have. Otherwise, the inequalities tend to be snarky comments and snide remarks just out of earshot. Though, once, I did have a skinhead hiss at me like a snake when he walked by me in Hungary. That was new.

Unfortunately, it is not hard to imagine. In your experience, which proved to be a bigger obstacle, language or culture?

Culture. Having lived now and worked in several countries, I can say that language can be dealt with, but culture is harder, since it’s one of those things you don’t really notice, like air, until something gets in it. People have different “basic” assumptions about how the world should work, and a lot of these are based on culture (both in terms of nationality and class; both affect what you “know”). For example, when I first met my wife, I other thought she was constantly angry at me, because she used to raise her voice a lot (a sign of aggression and anger in my culture). Turns out, in hers, it just means you are saying something that needs emphasis. Took me a LONG time to get that one.

Do you have any memorable or funny incident related to language or culture?

Many many many. Once, in Japan, I was at an ice cream shop, and the attendant asked me, in very polite Japanese, what I would like on my sundae. I told her that anything was okay, just not “unko.” I meant to say “anko”, which is a sweet red bean in Japan, but actually, I said a very bad word for, well, crap. The attendant laughed at me (not common in Japan!) and assured me that wasn’t going on my sundae.

Finally, what advice would you give to someone considering to live abroad?

Take your time to find a job before you go abroad, and what getting a place to live, basic utilities, and health care are like. There’s enough stress in living abroad, and you can’t assume things work that same way they did in your country.

For example, there are ATMs everywhere in Japan, but many of them stop working or are closed at around 6pm; 24-hour ATMs are very rare. Also, they don’t use debit cards, and barely use credit cards either; if you’re used to these conveniences, you’ll miss them dearly or make a mistake thinking you don’t need to bring cash with you! I’ve been at computer shops watching people buy expensive machines with large wads of cash.

Realistic and practical. Thanks a lot!