expa-riences

It is now six months that I started this blog and, as part of it, I launched a monthly interview series which aims to address people who have decided (or are deciding) to live abroad for a longer period of time. After half a year of collecting personal stories, I felt it was time for us to summarize what we have learned about going abroad.

More and more people decide to live and work outside of their countries, because, as they claim, going abroad offers them better chances, financially or socially, than staying at home, but the main explanation for the growing numbers is not so much the economic crisis or deeper inequalities but much more the higher degree of mobility, which makes such a decision easier than before. Nevertheless, with these widening opportunities, an increased consciousness is rarely coupled. Few people are prepared for the complexities of what their seemingly all-positive choice really entails. This interview series was created to serve as a platform which offers you some of the ideas that are worth considering before making up your mind and trying yourself abroad. By no means do I try to discourage you -- I am pro choice :-) -- but I do encourage you to see things clearly before you make a big decision, and this is one big decision.

The TEA interview series hosted people who migrated for professional reasons, like Bori, and those who followed their heart, like Reka. We read about people who stayed closer to their homeland, like Danijela, and those who crossed oceans to reach where they are now, like Aaron. Meeting Stan, we got to know someone who not only lived in 3 different continents but he also ended up in an intercultural family. Last but not least, we had the chance to talk with Eszter, who went abroad for very specific reasons: to earn enough money for a trip that she had been dreaming of (and make no mistake, she made it -- see photo below :-).

Even from the above, quite limited, list, you can clearly spot out the diversity of the expatriate. The motives people go abroad for are endless. The distance and the duration vary a great deal too. The experiences, as a consequence, cannot be identical either. Then what to prepare for, you might ask. While each of the people I interviewed highly recommended to try living in another country, in order to see the world, to open up, to test yourselves and your beliefs, to redefine difference, in short, to enrich your life, they also warned us about several difficulties. Although in many places foreigners are welcomed, some parts of the world are less tolerant. You need to consider that once you cross borders, you will not be "a local" anymore but "a guest". Almost every interviewee underlined the importance of acquiring at least some knowledge of the local language. Even though English is the new lingua franca, thus, a must to know, many doors will still remain closed if you don't know the local "code". 

It is not only being accepted that can be a challenge; another serious obstacle can be the opposite, accepting, a culture and a set of customs that appear foreign and illogical from your culture's perspective. Many of the speakers had stories about funny or frustrating situations that were the results of a cultural clash. You need to be prepared to bump into new -- and at first strange -- customs at every corner of your journey, even when you think you can take something for granted. Nothing can be taken for granted. On the one hand, such a lesson is a very useful one; on the other hand, you can get tired and insecure after a while, which is easier to bear if you count on it to happen.

Finally, a last crucial point I'd like to make, based on the six interviews, is that you mustn't forget that by travelling you are leaving behind most of what you knew as your life. While some people go exactly for that, for the others this will be an overwhelming challenge. Our TEA guests, however, encouraged us to say yes anyway, because in our digital age, skype and chatting can help you get through the days of loneliness and homesickness, which are all parts of the journey.

So, in short, dare for more, but stay realistic.